Know Thyself: Theatre as a Tool to Discovery

Coincidence or Trend?

Being a performer and actor can offer an amazing glimpse into the self. Not only does one get to unlock and explore parts of oneself that were dormant or only in the subconscious, thereby evolving one’s own sense of self, and actual self. But, it can also reveal how one is perceived by others, and more simply what one’s “type” is. Typecasting is of course when one’s dominant or determined traits are used to pigeon-hole one into a certain character type.

I recently spotted a compelling coincidence in my casting and performance history in recent years. Time and time again I’ve walked into auditions with one role that I felt I wouldn’t/couldn’t/shouldn’t get, and time and time again that has been THE role I HAVE landed. But, with my current role (and three in the past), this coincidence became recurrent enough to emerge as a clear pattern or trend. I wanted to dig deeper to understand it.

Characters of Yore

 

The Wouldn’t/Couldn’t/Shouldn’t Roles

First there was “West Side Story”, at Broadway By the Bay. Clearly, I wasn’t going to be a Shark, and although I dream of being Tony, I don’t have his requisite high notes in this life. So, I went down the list of Jets to decide which roles to target. I saw that Diesel was the Jet chosen for the fist fight with Bernardo, and immediately scratched him off my list (along with Baby John). I felt that would require someone bigger, more muscular, more imposing than me, as he is the “toughest of the gang”.

Then there was “Into the Woods”, at Ray of Light Theatre. I targeted Rapunzel’s Prince…the male “seconda donna“-of-sorts to Cinderella’s Prince. Cinderella’s Prince is dashing, charming, the epitome of straight masculinity, and felt it was probably all a bit too much to live up to. I was also open to the smaller role of Steward (or, “Stew”, as we liked to call him).

Next was “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers”, also at BBB. I wasn’t interested in pursuing the leading role (Adam), but was game for any of the seven brothers…well, except Frank (aka “Frankincense”), because I saw that he was prone to fighting, and just generally prickly. That wasn’t me, I thought. I’m calm, easy-going, a “good guy”, more of a follower, and team-player.

Most recently, I auditioned for “Hair, at ACLO. I decided on a different strategy this time…to mark no specific roles on my audition form. I felt that I’d been seemingly so off in targeting the role(s) best suited to me that this time I would leave it up to fate, the spirit, the casting director…anybody but me. However, I was VERY close to writing down just Woof, Claude, and “Tribe”. That’s right, I would have left off Berger, because he’s a charismatic leader with a BIG personality, animal sexy, and a rabble rouser. Can you say high bar/triple threat?

Well, it’s obvious by now that I was cast as Diesel, Cinderella’s Prince, “Frankincense”, and Berger.

The Discovery

So, what did I uncover in this trend, and creating these characters that initially felt out of reach?

  • On a superficial, purely physical level, I’m on the taller side of average height, with a full jaw and dark hair and eyebrows, which tips the scales in favor of being typecast in these sorts of roles.
  • Getting under their skin allowed me to see the importance of exploring characters that are less obviously tied to my own temperament, and find deeper, more complex connections. From a psychological perspective, I haven’t been fully in touch with my “shadow side”, and the level of intensity and strength I can portray by drawing from it.  
  • Yes, there are roles that allow one to easily draw directly from one’s own well of life to create them, and on the flip side, roles that are simply outside of one’s appropriate range or reasonable reach…but, there’s a lot of middle ground for “stretching”. My personal “dial” for discerning this threshold seemed to be a bit off. Hopefully, I’ve re-calibrated it well to find my challenge/success “sweet spot”.
  • Perhaps there’s some karma at work here? I think of it as somewhat comparable to this…Don’t you ALWAYS run into the people you’ve wronged or have unfinished business (in the least likely places, ie: a Safeway aisle)?! Or, if there’s something you need to learn in the world, doesn’t the universe always present you with an opportunity to unlock it? Each of these unexpected roles has done exactly that, and taught me that I need to walk into, not away from the biggest challenges that scare me most.
  • I need to continue to believe more in myself and my abilities (YES, a lifelong journey), and aim my trajectory upwards.

I still fondly recall one of my previous director’s character metaphors. He encouraged me to consider Bruce Lee, who embodied strength with a compact frame (albeit, a RIPPED one!), and through nimble movement, and cunning.

As to whether I met all or enough of the demands of any or all of these roles, well…I leave that to the audience to decide. And, I’m not even touching on how the variable of ability (ie: singing, dancing, acting) also plays into this equation. That’d require a novel. 

I’m thankful that theatre has offered me this sort of enlightenment. I look forward to being in touch with the greater breadth that shedding my own self-imposed limitations on “type” allows. Perhaps you can identify ways in which you set up wouldn’t/couldn’t/shouldn’t barriers for yourself?

Know thyself!

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1 comment so far

  1. jumping clapping man on

    Wow, I just came across a poignant quote/philosophy (August ’09 issue, “The Sun”) that is very in line with one of my points here. Beautiful!:

    “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at that moment.” — Eckhart Tolle


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